The surreal life of a Cleveland Indians fan

While the rest of the world revels in the life and times of Tiger Woods, Cleveland Indians fans have real news to talk about. With the hot stove season upon us, what other team would you rather be following right now? Would you rather be a fan of the New York Yankees or Boston Red Sox, who will actually sign quality players to ludicrous contracts that no other team can match? Or would you rather follow the Cleveland Indians, where nothing is considered trivial, $3 million is way too much, and our star players are chasing pictures, or about to start triple A? C'mon, that's a no brainer, right? Consider the big news this week:

• Mike Sarbaugh was promoted as the manager from double A Akron to triple A Columbus. Sarbaugh and the Aeros rolled to the Eastern League championship, and the Indians wanted to promote Sarbaugh to continue his development as a manager. You know, like Torey Lovullo and Eric Wedge and Joel Skinner and Charlie Manuel and Mike Hargrove prior. Who's taking Sarbaugh's spot? Oh yeah, Joel Skinner, who wanted to stay in the area and with the organization.


• Kelly Shoppach was dealt to the Tampa Bay Rays. The catcher, who batted .214 last season, was likely to see a raise in pay through arbitration to $3 million. Cleveland felt that was too much money.


• Cleveland signed four guys today that nobody has ever heard of before in the history of the game, and baseball gods willing, nobody will ever hear about again. One of the guys used to get shelled nightly for the Tigers, and another toiled for the Twins for a few seasons. I'm not going to mention them now, because I fear I'll begin accepting the signings of cast-offs as the norm. I mean, when we have the potential to sign David Dellucci and Jason Michaels in the future, who want's to know these guys?


• Grady Sizemore is getting healthy, and he's quite obviously trying to show the world his prowess. In all seriousness, the only thing left for Sizemore to do this week is find himself drunk in a car with Lindsay Lohan, giving the paparazzi upskirt shots. I mean seriously here, when are we going to get the Sizemore/Peralta cat fight? This comes after the Tribe centerfielder was asking everyone this side of the Pinkerton detective agency to get private photos of these here internets. Grady was apparently showing his lady friends his batting stances. Why is it that when I say Sizemore with regards to this story, I feel a bit sick to my stomach?

What a week to be a Tribe fan ladies and gentlemen, and we haven't even made it to the Winter Meetings.